Anastasia (1998)
28 Nov 1996 • Animation, Short • 0h 31m
While there are some that will watch Dingo Pictures and get a good laugh out of their incompetence, there will be even more people who will be offended and would prefer to forget what they just saw. Will admit that seeing Phelous' brilliant and hilarious review did provide the necessary entertainment value that just about saved my sanity from going, but Dingo Pictures' 'Anastasia' is intelligence insultingly and jaw-droppingly appalling, even when trying to take it for what it is and judging it fairly.All of Dingo Pictures' animations, which are watched out of curiosity to see whether they were capable of anything remotely decent and as a big lifelong animation fan, are never more than very bad, most of them being abominations. The latter category of which their 'Anastasia' fits under, not just because it is inaccurate historically (more so than any film version of 'Anastasia) and geographically (in fact inaccurate in everything) but the quality is enough to make the jaw drop in a bad way and want to gouge the eyes out. Tried to watch it to get some entertainment value out of it but couldn't sadly, and really hope that people don't judge me for that. Really want to forget how terrible this was, and that is likely to be the case for anybody who has the misfortune to view any of their output, but that is not going to happen.Ranking it among other 'Anastasia' animations, of which Don Bluth's is by far the best by quite some way, this is easily the worst. Did not care at all for Golden Films' version but that at least had a few redeeming merits, something that cannot be found in Dingo Pictures' version.Don't know where to start criticising. Lets start with the animation, as it is the worst asset. The animation is truly awful and beyond description. Flat colours, simplistic and unfinished looking backgrounds, background characters recycled from other Dingo Pictures' animations that add absolutely nothing and appear and disappear randomly and shoddy and unintentionally creepy character designs. Especially Rasputin, looking like an anti-semitic caricature and it's really disconcerting. The music is constantly misplaced and is always discordant with what's going on, with sound effects that are just as creepy as the character designs and often random. Again, what is with the nausea-inducing juddery movements when somebody laughs in particular, especially with Rasputin.The dialogue is as repetitive and juvenile as ever, with some lines that one cannot believe are there in the first place. One might want to get their IQ tested after watching 'Anastasia' to see whether it has dropped at all watching from hearing the dialogue alone, as that's how it felt. Hardly anything happens in the story, a vast majority is aimless and interminably sluggishly paced with a lot of overlong padding and stop start moments and when anything happens (the most significant event really being towards the end with the grandmother, which has no impact whatsoever) it doesn't make any sense with a lot of what people call plot-holes and logic problems too numerous to list. Consider that usually a very lazy excuse when reviewing anything and thrown around too much here, but sometimes it's hard not to when they are so glaring and that's the case here.None of the characters are interesting. Anastasia is completely bland (can't even remember her actually), the male character that looks like a low-budget rip off of Bluth's own Anastasia is just strange (no chemistry between the two either), Rasputin posed no threat and was more cheesy than sinister, there was nothing sincere or poignant about the hideously drawn and weirdly voiced grandmother and there was absolutely no point in the clearly thrown in Baba Yaga-like witch. The voice acting has no personality or authenticity, again Rasputin faring worst. One gets nothing from his rushed and far too easy defeat too.Overall, absolutely terrible even when trying to judge it fairly. 1/10
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German
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Germany
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