"Attempted Suicide" is a travesty on the "red tape" of the French police service; at least the characters seem French and the uniforms worn are of that nation. A young man disappointed in love wanders to the woods, where he hangs himself to the limb of a tree. A boy discovering him, runs in alarm to tell the gardener, who is conveniently at hand; the gardener views the death struggles, but, although having a scythe in his hand, dares not cut the rope without the presence of an officer and hurries after one. A mounted policeman is secured, who rides up, looks at the hanging person and returns to the station house to report, without attempting to retrieve the young man from his sure death position. The policeman with his sergeant returns once more, watches the last feeble struggles and, ignoring the fate about to arrive, ride off to inform the young fellow's father. That personage, while alarmed, declines to hasten until his necktie and scarf have been properly adjusted, when all run to the woods, and the presumed suicide (by this time) is laid upon the ground. Upon his sweetheart arriving he embraces her madly, having been playing "possum," which may be detected by the audience through seeing a hook attached to the end of the rope in his coat. This relieves what would be otherwise a gruesome sight, and for real pure fun, with the burlesque on the idiotic police system always to the fore, "Attempted Suicide" will be difficult to beat.