William Douglas Me reports to his psychiatrist a strange story while reporting on his various physical ailments. Mr. Me went on a trip to Indonesia and picked up a valuable crown jewel at a video store for only five dollars American. The woman he got it from sold it to the wrong person and pursues him back to his home in Lebanon, Indiana, as does the villain for whom she stole it. Everyone in town soon learns Me has the jewel, including a friend who wants it for his wife, a meter reader who wants to quit, some kids and a teenager who rides a hobbyhorse, and a virtually silent thief, who speaks with intertitles.